Weed Card Uke tab by Garfunkel And Oates

VERSE 1:

   D                G
Everyone knows marijuana's dangerous.
   D              G
Medical pot is really strong.
        D                   G
That's why it's so hard in California,
    D
to get your weed card,
   G                 D         G
unless something's really wrong.   {D,G,D,G}
 
  D               G
Gonna pay a visit to my doctor. 
  D                      G
It's a long shot but I gotta try. 
      D                 G                D              G
She hands me a list of all the illnesses I can have to qualify. 
 A                                (A)
Can't believe what I am reading, this is just what I've been needing.
      D        G             D      G
A Government supply to get legally high. 

CHORUS:

  Em       A                D
 Weed card,  that's what I need 
   G         Em   A        D
hardly ever OK always but it's not an
 G              Em             A
addiction cause my doctor gave me,
        D
A prescription.

VERSE 2:
       
  D                          G                D              G
 You can get your card for having headaches, bad dreams, or anxiety, 
  D                        G        D          G
especially for drugs or alcohol, anorexia or obesity. 
     D       G           D       G
Too fat too thin either way you win.
 D                     G                D            G
Heart dome syndrome, color blindness st-studuring, t-tooth decay.
   D                   G                D            G
Fatigue, depression, motion sickness, impotence, or TMJ. 

 A                                     (A)
 You can smoke to quit cigarettes or asthma or your mother f***in turrets. 
         D         G                    D         G
It's a dream come true, there's nothing pot can't do. 

CHORUS:

  Em       A                D
 Weed card,  that's what I need 
   G         Em   A        D
hardly ever OK always but it's not an
 G              Em             A
addiction cause my doctor gave me,
        D
A prescription. {G,D,G}
        
BRIDGE:

                                Dm
 Break it down now, Got back pain need Mary Jane,
   Dm
 cant handle this need cannabis gotta stomach ache, 
   Dm
gotta wake and bake, got an injury need THC.

      Am
 Get f***ed up for your hyperhidrosis,
            Fmaj
 which is sweaty palms in case you need a diagnosis!
       D      G                D      G
 It's not a crime, it's worth twenty times.

CHORUS:

  Em       A                D
 Weed card,  that's what I need 
   G         Em   A        D
hardly ever OK always but it's not an
 G              Em             A
addiction cause my doctor gave me,
        D
A prescription.