Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me Uke tab by Weird Al Yankovic (Baritone Chords)

G
Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
               D                        Em
And there's no way you're gonna slow it down
           C                   G
You say we gotta treasure each moment
              D                    B
Who knows how long we're gonna be around


         C                  G
Yeah you keep on telling me life is short
         B                              C
And it's hard to disagree with what you say
       G                           D
But if time is so precious, why ya wasting mine
          C
Cause I'm always reading, Always deleting
C                                       D
Every useless piece of garbage that you send my way


      G
Every stupid hoax
          D
All those corny jokes
      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me
        G                          D
Well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns
      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me


      Em              Bm
No it isn't ok if you brighten my day 
          C                                 D
With some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
       G                    D
And I didn't request a personality test
      C         D
Stop forwarding - that crap to me


G - D - C - D
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...


D              G
You're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments 
   D                       Em
to every single person you know
       C                       G
You're passing round a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
     D                      B
That everybody else already saw three years ago
    C            G
And wacky badly Photoshopped billboards
     B                     C
were never that amusing to me
      G                        D
And I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
      C
But I have high hopes someone will point you toward Snopes
C                                         D
And debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly


     G                            D
No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul
      C                      D
Stop forwarding that crap to me
          G                     D
Send more top 10 lists and I'll slash my wrists
             C                      D
Please stop forwarding that crap to me
         Em                        Bm
Well I'm sorry I can't accept your paranoid rant
            C                             D
And I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
          G                          D
Won't you kindly refrain, cause it's hurting my brain
     C
Stop forwarding... that crap to me

Am                                    D
Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
           Am                                 D
Now tell me in what alternate reality would I care about something like that?

                    Em
And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
    Bm
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong
         C
And Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
      A
And I highly doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me
A
If I don't pass your letter along...


A          G
Well now I know you're wishing 
     D
I'll sign your petition
          C                      D
But stop forwarding that crap to me
                    G
And I don't want to read your series 
      D
Of conspiracy theories
           C                      D
Just stop forwarding that crap to me
         Em
And your two million loser friends
    Bm
All have my address now
          C                            D
Cause you never figured out the way to BCC

       G
Now I gotta insist
       Em
Take me off of your list
      C         D                G
Stop forwarding-- that crap to me


G                               G 
Stop forwarding that crap to me
Em                              Em 
Stop forwarding that crap to me
C                    D
Stop forwarding that crap to me
(repeats)

C - D - G
Ahhhhhhh....