Everything You Know Is Wrong Uke tab by Weird Al Yankovic

Intro:  D  C  G   A    A7 A7

D                    G       A      D                      G     A        Bm 
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane with a rabid wolverine in my underwear
     E               A                                      G                                 D
when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
D                 G     A               D                   G      A
I guessed "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie? is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
         Bm                      E   
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
           A                                        A7                         Bm
I probably would have kept on guessing but about that time we crashed into the truck
                  E7                    A                   D           Em            G
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
    A             A7      
who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

D     G        A         D                           G         A        Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long
          E                         A            A7
And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter
D     G        A         D                     C#        F#m  Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along
                 E                G           A       F    G
All you need to understand is, everything you know is wrong

D                    G       A        D                      G           A                Bm 
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
     E            A                         G                                 D
and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
D                   G     A                 D                       G             A
They sucked out my internal organs and they took some polaroids and said I was a darn good sport
Bm                 E                           A                               A7                           Bm
As a way of saying thank you they offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to go
                  E7                    A                        D            Em      G
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time
                       A                                   A7
Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yelling


D     G        A         D                           G         A        Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long
          E                         A            A7
And everything you thought was just so important doesn't matter
D     G        A         D                     C#        F#m  Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along
                 E                G           A       D
All you need to understand is, everything you know is wrong

Accordion Solo:
G    E    F#    G     A 

Saxophone Solo:
Cm   F   G   Am  Bb   Am   Bb   G   C

Guitar Solo:
Dm  Eb  F  F#  Am  Bb  G  C   A7 A7 (two strums)

D                    G            A     D                G     A      Bm 
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin when I got a nasty papercut
             E                 A                     G      D
And well, to make a long story short it got infected and I died
   D                             G     A      D                     G             A
So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gates and it's obvious he doesn't like the 
Bm           E                    A                     A7                Bm
Nehru jacket that I'm wearing, he tells me that they've got a dress code, well
                       E7           A                        D         Em              G
He lets me into heaven anyway but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity
    A            A7
And every day he runs by screaming


D     G        A         D                           G         A        Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down and short is long, and 
                      E                             A                     A7
Everything ya used to think was so important doesnt really matter anymore because the simple fact remains that
D     G        A         D                     C#        F#m  Bm
Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along
                 E             G              A        Bm             C#m   G              A       D  
All you need to understand is, everything you know is wroooooooooooooooong, everything you know is wrong!