I’m Writing A Novel Uke tab by Father John Misty

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   I ran down the road, pants down to my knees
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Screaming "please come help me, that Canadian shaman gave a little too much to me!"
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And I'm writing a novel
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Because it's never been done before

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First house that I saw I wrote house up on the door
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And told the people who lived there they had to get out "Cause my reality is realer than yours"
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And there's no time in the present
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And there's a black dog on the bed

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I went to the backyard to burn my only clothes
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And the dog ran out and said "You can't turn nothing into nothingness with me no more"
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Well I'm no doctor
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but that monkey might be right
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And if he is 
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I'll be walking him my whole life

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I rode to Malibu on a dune buggy with Neil
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He said "You're gonna have to drown me down on the beach if you ever want to write the real"
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And I said "I'm sorry,
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young man, what is your name again?"

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Now everywhere I go in West Hollywood
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It's filled with people pretending they don't see the actress, and the actress wishing that they could
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We could do Ayahuasca
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Baby if I wasn't holding all these drinks

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Something 'bout the way Violet whips her hair
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That makes me empty my pockets holding court on the corner burning twenties as if I was the mayor
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I don't need any new friends, Momma
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But I could really use something to do
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So if you're up for it sometimes
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I swear you wouldn't have to be my muse

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Heidegger and Sartre, drinking poppy tea
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I could've sworn last night I passed out in my van and now these guys are pouring one for me
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I'll never leave the canyon,
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'cause I'm surrounded on all sides        
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By people writing novels
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and living on amusement rides