I’m Writing A Novel Tab uke di Father John Misty

F  F                    F
   I ran down the road, pants down to my knees
             F7                                             F7
Screaming "please come help me, that Canadian shaman gave a little too much to me!"
                  Bb     Bb
And I'm writing a novel
                                F    F
Because it's never been done before

F                              F
First house that I saw I wrote house up on the door
             F7                                                     F7
And told the people who lived there they had to get out "Cause my reality is realer than yours"
                           Bb       Bb
And there's no time in the present
                                F   F
And there's a black dog on the bed

  F                       F
I went to the backyard to burn my only clothes
         F7                                               F7
And the dog ran out and said "You can't turn nothing into nothingness with me no more"
            Bb      Bb
Well I'm no doctor
                          F     F
but that monkey might be right
          C7  Dm
And if he is 
                              F    F  F
I'll be walking him my whole life

  F                   F
I rode to Malibu on a dune buggy with Neil
                F7                                              F7
He said "You're gonna have to drown me down on the beach if you ever want to write the real"
                Bb     Bb
And I said "I'm sorry,
                               F
young man, what is your name again?"

    F               F
Now everywhere I go in West Hollywood
                 F7                                                    F7
It's filled with people pretending they don't see the actress, and the actress wishing that they could
                 Bb    Bb
We could do Ayahuasca
                                   F       F
Baby if I wasn't holding all these drinks

F                       F
Something 'bout the way Violet whips her hair
              F7                                                   F7
That makes me empty my pockets holding court on the corner burning twenties as if I was the mayor
                 Bb                  Bb
I don't need any new friends, Momma
                                     F  F
But I could really use something to do
                       C7        Dm
So if you're up for it sometimes
                                    F    F  F  F
I swear you wouldn't have to be my muse

F                     F
Heidegger and Sartre, drinking poppy tea
           F7                                                    F7
I could've sworn last night I passed out in my van and now these guys are pouring one for me
                     Bb      Bb
I'll never leave the canyon,
                              F     F
'cause I'm surrounded on all sides        
                  C7      Dm
By people writing novels
                         F     F7
and living on amusement rides