Straight White Male Uke tab by Bo Burnham

[Intro]
D  Bm  A  G
D  Bm  A  G  Gm

[Verse 1]
D        Bm              A         G
Walking around, I've got no one to talk to
D           Bm           A          G
There's everyone, and then there's just me
D          Bm                A              G
If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it
D        Bm            A          G
God only knows why he cursed me to be
  Gm      Gm/D   Gm
a straight white male

[Bridge]
Bm
I state my problems
      F#               G
other people roll their eyes
Bm
Three trips to the mall
         F#         G
and zero khakis in my size
Bm
I've never been the victim
      F#               G
of a random search for drugs
    D                F#
But you can't say my life is easy
 G                    A          D
until you've walked a mile in my UGGs

[Chorus]
G        A     D                G          A       D
Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
F#
The women want rights
    Bm         G
The gays want kids
Gm
Can't you just leave us alone?
And also, no, to the things you asked for

D  Bm  A  G
D  Bm  A  G  Gm

[Verse 2]
D          Bm             A       G
Everyone thinks that I've got it easy
D                Bm            A              G
Just 'cause it's true, doesn't mean that it's right
D             Bm        A              G
So pull up a chair, and put down your pitchfork
D          Bm                A          G
Give me a chance to show you what it's like
        Gm
to be a straight white male

[Bridge 2]
Bm 
The churches never made me
     F#            G
Feel ashamed of who I am
Bm
But I get e-mails from Netflix
            F#              G
that g-mail doesn't mark as spam
Bm
My country's Constitution was
     F#            G
hand-written by my race
        D                 F#
But my wife bought me the brand new iPhone
G       A            D
with an iPod Touch's case (it doesn't fit that phone)

[Chorus]
G        A     D                G          A       D
Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
F#
The women want rights
    Bm          G
The blacks want not to be called the blacks
Gm
Can't you just leave us alone?
     F#
And also, no, to the things you asked for
Nooooooo

G  F#  Bm (x6)

[Chorus]
G         A    D                 G          A     D
Straight white male, I know the road looks tough ahead
    F#
The women want rights
     Bm           G
The African-Ameri-it doesn't work for the rhythm of this song
   Gm
We used to have all the money and land
We still do but it's not as fun now

D  Bm  A  G
D  Bm  A  G  Gm