Presumably Dead Arm Uke tab by Sidney Gish

Gmaj7
Just to start this off
                           C
This isn't the start of anything
       Cm
Just a song that I can sing to you
       Gmaj7
We're standing in a graveyard
                                         C
A presumably dead arm popped through the grass
        Cm
And who doesn't talk about that?
Gmaj7
Honey, you are nothing to me

Alcohol and dopamine
    C
I'm dying on the sofa
       Cm
And I barely know the time
    Gmaj7
But like an old man, say I reckon

I love you for a millisecond
    C
But I don't wear a watch or Rolex
Cm                             C
And my brain's a toddler rollerskating down a hill
   D                          G                 A7
I took a spill and ran into a tree and suffered minor injuries
C
Honey, you are nothing to me
  D                                 G
I don't call people anything that's thought to be so sweet
Gmaj7
But I'm just being bitchy
                                      C
'Cause every stupid boy skipped over me
       Cm
On our twilight hour meet and greet
  Gmaj7
A coffee table theater scene
                                  C 
But disregard the soaring chick back there in corner three
           Cm
I'd rather let the poor kid sleep
Gmaj7
But he's tripping balls, he's tripping testes

LSD, post-wisdom teeth
C                                Cm
He got lost in the shower and he barely knows the hour
Gmaj7
I wanna know your passwords

Without changing them in Preferences
        C                          Cm
And all the childhood streets and deceased pets that they're referencing
     C
And in the box, I'll type
     D
I'll know all the numbers to try
  G                              A7
I wanna know the lyrics that you think of when you're high
Am                                        D
I'm in love with strangers who I've never even seen
             Bm                                   Em            Em7
In love with weird cut bangs and sweaters swaying kind of awkwardly
    Am                                          D
And I'm in love with fresh air friends from overheated houses
       Bm                                       Em
Till I Uber up a giant park and dump my body in my dorm bed
Am
Honey, you are nothing to me
  D                                 Bm                Em
I don't call people anything that's thought to be so sweet
    C                              D           G
The speech is coming back with a vengeance, it seems
G
And all these pretend spouses are a happy storybook
        C                        D
That'll turn to stark nonfiction in the time it took
          G
For me to notice that I'm old, which means I'll be 30 and happy
       C                      D
Likely married to personified business casual khakis
    Am                          D
And I'll forget about it when I wake up late and stupid
  Bm                            Em               Em7
I tried to tell the Uber driver till he tried to hit it
  C                                 D
I tried to tell myself because I've come this far along
Bm                        Em       Em7
Carrying my zombie arm to the 14th-grade prom
Am    
Honey, you are nothing to me
  D                                 Bm               Em
I don't call people anything that's thought to be so sweet
    C                    D                     G     Em
The speech is coming back with a vengeance, it seems
    C                    D                     Gmaj7
The speech is coming back with a vengeance, it seems