Spicy Mchaggis Jig Uke tab by Dropkick Murphys

I'll tell you a story, believe me it's true

a tale you'd best hope, never happens to you,

old spicy mcHaggis, how he met his fate,

you I can save, but for him it's too late

G              C
Spicy was big, burly and strong
G                        D
his pipes were gigantic, and so was his schlong
G                 C
from city to city running around
G                              D
Always looking for chicks over four hundred pounds

G                    C
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye
G               D
big as a house, just the right size
G                      C
the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt
D                   G
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
G                   C
the piper delivered his best pick-up line
G                   D
thought to himself, "this beast is all mine"
G                     C
the portly young lady could stand for no more
D                  G
grabbed his cojones and went for the door

G                     C
They got to her house and dimmed all the lights
G                   D
Spicy was in for one hell of a night
G                         C
he said that he loved her, he'd always be true

"But Mr. McHaggis, I've only just met you!!"

G                    C
By now he saw double through his drunken eyes
G                    D
neither had looks or appropriate size
G                      C
he came to his senses, thought to himself,
D                     G
"At this time of night I won't find nothing else"
G                      C
he took off his shirt, she lifted her skirt,
G                        D
they pulled out his unit and stared to flirt
G                      C
she asked for a glove, he gave her a shove,
D                G
had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.

(your gonna use the same slide as the intro for "SPICY"!)

SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY! SPICY!

G                    C
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye
G               D
big as a house, just the right size
G                       C
the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt
D                  G
spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
G                   C
the piper delivered his best pick-up line
G                   D
thought to himself, "this beast is all mine"
G                     C
the portly young lady could stand for no more
D                   G
grabbed his cojones and went for the door

G                  C
Three packs a day, he'll smoke 'til he dies
G               D             G
Spicy McHaggis, one hell of a guy!

"I don't know what you all are talking about...and who drank all my beer!?"