Jessica Alba's Number Uke tab by Cosmo Jarvis

D G A x2

D                           D
When I'm watching TV
       G                  A
The girls are all I see
            D
They're singing and dancing and acting and modelling
G                                         A
None of them would look at me
     D
If I went to Jessica Simpson
         G                           A
She'd think I was an ignoramus
       D   
And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz
          G                                A
She'd say "get lost boy, I'm famous!"
  D
All the women 'round here
         G                        A
Have BO or they have rolls
       D            
And some lucky bloke right now
        G                        A
Is hugging Beyonce Knowles

G
If I had Jessica Alba's number
A
I'd call her right up
            G                             A          D
And I'd ask her what she's doing at half past three
        G          A                        D
And then I'd ask her if she'd marry me
G
If I had Jessica Alba's number
                   A 
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world
                  G               A           D
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe
        G               A                            D
And then some dick would try and steal her purse
         Gmaj7
So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone and I'd say,
A
"Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!"

              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,

D G A x2

D
Fit girls getting shot in films
G                A
I'm always into ya'z
D
I'd like to go see Toy Story 2
               G                       A
With just me and Britney Spears
                                D
And then she'd say, "hit me baby one more time" and I'd say,
G                                            A
"No way, Britney! Domestic Violence is a crime."
D
I like the one from Showgirls 
                      G                              A
When she's dancing 'round those poles,
D
Or the really, really fit one
         G                               A
Who sings in the Pussycat Dolls

D
I've nearly got a moustache 
                Bm11
And they still wouldn't talk to me
D
Kate Winslet naked in Titanic
              G                        A
Or the lesbian from the OC

G
If I had Jessica Alba's number
A
I'd call her right up  
            G                            A           D
And I'd ask her what she's doing at half past three
        G         A                        D
and then I'd ask her if she'd marry me..
G
If I had Jessica Alba's number
                   A
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world,
                  G         A                 D
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe,
        G                A                           D
And then some dick would try and steal her purse,
           Gmaj7
So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone and I'd say,
A
"Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!"

              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,
              G        A         D
If I had Jessica Alba's number,

              G           A           D
If I had Jennifer Lopez's number
      G                  D
Or Kate Nash's number
            G                             A               D
Or the girl who was in Transformers' number
        G       A           D       C Bm7  A7 G Asus4 A G5 D
Or Jessica Alba's number..