No Reason Boner Tab par Ninja Sex Party

This song is about a problem that I have...

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Frequently

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A7

          Dm7                             F7sus2
There are three, three, three kinds of erections
           A#
Some are sexual
                                     Csus2/Ab
Some occur during periods of nervous tension

    Dm7
But there's a mysterious third kind
      F7sus2
That no one really understands
   A#
It happens when your shlong decides
                             Csus2/Ab
To take matters into its own hands

          C6
No reason boner
          Dm7
No reason boner
   F7sus2        Csus2/Ab
It baffles scientists
          Am
No reason boner

A7

       Dm7
This morning I was having breakfast
F7sus2
At the Midtown diner
    A#
The bagel was delicious
                             Csus2/Ab
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer

        Dm7
I got a weird look from the waitress
       F7sus2
When I asked her for the check
A#
I looked down and realized
                           Csus2/Ab
I was one hundred percent erect

          C6
No reason boner
          Dm7
No reason boner
       F7sus2                 Csus2/Ab
I like coleslaw but not that much
          Am
No reason boner

           A#
[Mailman:] Hi! Welcome to the post office.

[Danny:] Thanks! I just need to mail this package.

[Mailman:] No problem, just place it on the scale.

[Danny:] Sure thing!
              B
Oh! Oh god! I... I can't right now!

[Mailman:] Why not?

[Danny:] I... I have to go.

I have a, uh...

doctor's appointment at the dentist's!

A7

    Dm7
Now things are a little awkward
        F7sus2
Between my mailman and I
A#
That was not my best lie
                           Csus2/Ab
I was just covering up for my

          C6
No reason boner
          Dm7
No reason boner
             F7sus2                     Csus2/Ab
That was the wrong kind of package to mail
          Am
No reason boner

             A#
[Zookeeper:] Hi! Welcome to the zoo!

[Danny:] Great! I love the zoo!

Look at all those monkeys!

[Zookeeper:] Actually,

those technically aren't monkeys,

they're macaques.
             B
[Danny:] Wow! Macaque's really hairy.

... ... ... ... ...

[Danny:] Uh... So, what time does the zoo close?

[Zookeeper:] About eight o'clock.
        C
[Danny:] Great! That gives me a chance t- Oh god.

Oh, not... not now! Not in front of the children!
                          A7
Why have you forsaken me, lord!?

     Dm7
This is no laughing matter
        F7sus2
This is not some kind of game
      A#
I can tuck away my Johnson
                              Csus2/Ab
But I can never tuck away the shame

       Dm7
It can happen anytime
       F7sus2
It can happen anywhere
A#
When the Loch Ness Monster
                                           Csus2/Ab
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air

          C6
No reason boner, oh
          Dm7
No reason boner
       F7sus2      Csus2/Ab
You're ruining my life
          Am    F
No reason boner
           Am   F
No reason boner 
           Am   F
No reason boner

F9 Am

Why....?


Boner