Jerry Springer Uke tab by Weird Al Yankovic

[Chorus]
          G                 Cadd9
It's been one week since we got to see
          G          Cadd9
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
G                     Cadd9
 Five days since they had the show
          G                 Cadd9
With the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho
G                    Cadd9
 Three days since we heard the tale
  G                           Cadd9
About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male
G               Cadd9
Yesterday it occurred to me
                G                 Cadd9
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer

[Verse 1]
G                      Cadd9
Holy cow, d'you see it last week?
                     G                  
Well, they had this one freak
           Cadd9
Who sucker-punched his whole family
G                         Cadd9
 Do you recall when the brawl
                       G
Became a total free-for-all
                          Cadd9
And Jerry's in the middle tryin' to be the referee
G                              Cadd9
Hey, see the stripper with the implants
             G
She likes to lap dance
             Cadd9
And date the boyfriend of her mother
G                        Cadd9
 Now here come's Jerry's next guest
             G
And it's a slugfest
                  Cadd9
'Cause it's her trailer trash brother
G                        Cadd9
 Nymphomaniac is back on crack
                          G
It's like "When Animals Attack"
                       Cadd9
They all exhibit reprehensible behavior
G                                      Cadd9
 Hit 'em in the nose, tear off their clothes
                                  G
Step on their toes, that's how it goes
                          Cadd9
They get so violent they have to sign a waiver
 
[Bridge 1]
Em7                                Dadd9  
They're always swearin', cursin', kickin' butt, and pointin' blame
Bm4                    Cadd9
On the air? They don't care, they've got no shame
Em7                        Dadd9
There was one guy who I'm sure felt a little strange
Bm4                        Cadd9
When he found out that his wife had a sex change
Em7                      Dadd9
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly
Bm4                     Cadd9
They have a history of ripping off their shirts

[Chorus]
It's been one week since they had the fight
With the Siamese twins and the transvestite
Five days since that awful brawl
They still haven't got the blood off the wall
It's been three days since the bitter fued
Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude
Yesterday, finally dawned on me
I'm spendin' way too much time on that Jerry Springer

[Interlude]
G, Cadd9 (x7)
[Guy] Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister
[Gal] Oh? Well, which one?
[Guy] All of them
[Gal Oh! Well, I've been sleepin' with your best friend Jake!
[Guy] Yah? Well, well me too!
[Gal] Oh!
[Guy] And I've sleepin' with your dog Woofie!
(barking)
[Gal] Woofie, you b-tch!
[Gal] Well, I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
(baaahhing)
[Guy] That goat doesn't love to you!

[Verse 2]
Once you start watchin', there's just no stoppin'
Your brain shuts down, then your IQ's droppin'
Jerry's the king of confrontation
He's a sensation
He puts the 'sin' in syndication
It's totally worthless, like a bad check
It's like a train wreck
Don't wanna stare but you can't look away
Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows
But with more weirdos
The ratings jumpin' higher everyday
If you've seen the show, well then you know
It's just as low as you can go
The guests are tacky and they're lacking in their hygiene
And pretty soon some ugly goon
Comes in the room and then it's BOOM
In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen

[Bridge 2]
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities
Yankin' hair, throwin' chairs at their hubbies
"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant
Should I turn off my TV? I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously
I have a history of taping each one

[Chorus]
It's been one week since the show about
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
Five days since the big surprise
When some loser's wife said she's shtill dating twenty guys
Three days wince he interviewed
A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude
Yesterday, it occurred to me
That I've been watchin' a bit too much Jerry Springer
Tired of wastin' my time on that Jerry Springer
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger