Drinking Song Uke tab by Loudon Wainwright Iii

C                   Csus4
Drunk men stagger, drunk men fall
C                  Csus4
Drunk men swear & that's not all
Em                               C
Quite often drunks will urinate outdoors
C                   Csus4
Like widowed women drunk men weep
C                       Csus4
Like children curled up drunk men sleep
Em                                        C
Like a dog a drunk will crawl about on all fours
F
Be it broke bum or rich rake
     Fm
His dinner be it bread or cake 
       F
His beverage be the worst of whiskey, finest wine
C                 Csus4
Puke it stinks & so it seems
C                  Csus4
A drunkard goes to great extremes
Em                                          C
But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line
                                                                              
Drunks are strong & drunks are weak
It's easy for a drunk to speak
Straight from the heart
Drunks will fight, their not afraid
They'll kiss the mistress & make the maid
Oh, but it's a manly art
But it takes it toll on blood vessels & from there it will raise
Bags beneath the eyes & other signs
Drunks get ugly so it seems & drunks will go to great extremes
But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line.

Drunks are friendly when they're drunk
And drunks are hostile when they're drunk
Which drunk it is it all depends upon
When drunk men drink they thirst they thirst for drink
Their elephants are grey not pink
When the drink evaporates the man is gone, gone, gone
Back to the flats & the subway cars
To the hipflasks & the fruit jars
Flat on thier face & flat on their backs
Drunks get drunk & so it seems 
That drunks will go to great extremes
But there has yet to be a perfectly straight line