Our Mps Are Arseholes! Uke tab by Folk Songs

Our MPs Are Arseholes! 
 
D   G                                        D
Now here's a torrid story, of greed, deceit and lust, 
                                    G
About bad Politicians, who made our country bust. 
                                     C
Some of them stole a fortune, others stole a mint, 
                   G      D              G
They've squandered all our money, and left the Nation skint. 
 
D   G                                     D
Oh! Our MPs are arseholes! They're no bloody good, 
                                             G
They've ripped off the electorate, just because they could. 
                                                    C
We've paid off all their mortgages, and bought their garden gnomes, 
     G            D             G
Rented dodgy sex tapes, and furnished second homes. 
 
G
I say, I say, I say, Prime Minister. I found an MP's chandelier in my dustbin. 
(How do you know it was an MP's?) It still had the John Lewis sticker on it. 
 
D   G                                               D
One day while strolling in Whitehall, I saw a sight so queer, 
                                     G
Some poor old Politician - was crying in his beer. 
                                            C
I said "What's up moi luvver?" and "What's a doin' 'ere?", 
          G           D       G
He said "The PM's sacked me",....."FOR GETTING CAUGHT!" 
 
D   G                                     D
Oh! Our MPs are arseholes! They're no bloody good, 
                                             G
They've ripped off the electorate, just because they could. 
                                                    C
We've paid off all their mortgages, and bought their garden gnomes, 
     G            D             G
Rented dodgy sex tapes, and furnished second homes. 
 
G
I say, I say, I say, Mr Politician. (Oh, it's you again). I think I just had sex with your wife. 
(Really? What makes you think it was my wife?). Well, she invoiced me twice. 
 
D   G                                                            D
Oh! Kick them out! Speak up! Speak out!, about justice and wrongful deeds, 
                                                G
We have a dream, Oh Lor', where Politicians fulfill OUR needs. 
                                                        C
We've paid the bill, they've served us ill, arrest the thieving cowards, 
          G           D            G
Make them pay the money back, then LOCK THEM IN THE TOWER! 
 
D   G                                     D
Oh! Our MPs are arseholes! They're no bloody good, 
                                             G
They've ripped off the electorate, just because they could. 
                                                    C
We've paid off all their mortgages, and bought their garden gnomes, 
     G            D             G
Rented dodgy sex tapes, and furnished second homes.