Do You Swear To Tell The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth, So Help Your Black Ass Tabulatur von Amanda Palmer

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G chordG Dm chordDm
When I was six years old my sister Alyson
F chordF C chordC
Asked for a stove for her birthday
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A chordA miniature one you could actually cook with
F chordF C chordC
And my mom was nice and she bought one

G chordG Dm chordDm
Alyson needed a reason to bake something
F chordF C chordC
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said
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I made a cake and we're going next door
F chordF C chordC
To sam weinstein's and you're getting married

G chordG
the cake was burned
Dm chordDm
it tasted gross
F chordF
she made me kiss him
C chordC
on the mouth

G chordG
now i am 33
Dm chordDm
unmarried happily
F chordF C chordC G chordG
no plans in life and i'm planning to keep it that way
Dm chordDm
i do kissing with only one mission
F chordF C chordC
do you like to kiss then you have my permission

G chordG Dm chordDm
and i have already spent too much time
F chordF C chordC
doing things i didn't want to
G chordG Dm chordDm
so if i just want to make out all the time
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you can bet your black ass that i'm going to


G chordG Dm chordDm
When I was nine I was kind of a loser
F chordF C chordC
The kids in my class didn't like me
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Melanie chow was the meanest of all
F chordF C chordC
And my mom made me go to her party

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Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
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Drawing with crayons on a napkin
G chordG Dm chordDm
A chordA picture of melanie skewered with a pitchfork
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Her legs getting eaten by lions

G chordG
The cake was good
Dm chordDm
I took some home
F chordF
I had a party
C chordC
In my room

G chordG Dm chordDm
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
F chordF C chordC G chordG
But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
Dm chordDm F chordF C chordC
And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
G chordG Dm chordDm
Yes that's how I like it

G chordG Dm chordDm
and i have already spent too much time
F chordF C chordC
doing things i didn't want to
G chordG Dm chordDm
So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
F chordF C chordC
you can bet your black ass that i'm going to

G chordG Dm chordDm
yes i come here often
F chordF C chordC
sure i'll have another one
G chordG Dm chordDm
yes i come here often
F chordF C chordC
sure i'll have another one
but i don't have to talk to you

G chordG Dm chordDm
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
F chordF C chordC
Picking up tips from the masters
G chordG Dm chordDm
I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
F chordF C chordC
Now I'm still a blowjob queen far more selectively
G chordG Dm chordDm
I don't make love now to make people love me
F chordF C chordC
But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
G chordG Dm chordDm
We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic

G chordG Dm chordDm
When I was I was a rock star
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But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
G chordG Dm chordDm F chordF
Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
C chordC
Baby they'd never know
G chordG
What a bargain they'd gotten
Dm chordDm
And if I'm forgotten
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I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
G chordG Dm chordDm
And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
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I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me


G chordG Dm chordDm
and i've already spent too much time
F chordF C chordC
doing things i didn't want to

G chordG
so if i want to drink alone
Dm chordDm
dressed like a pirate
F chordF
or look like a dyke
C chordC
or wear high heels and lipstick
G chordG
or hide in a convent
Dm chordDm
or try to be mayor
F chordF
or marry a writer
C chordC
smoke crack and slash tires
G chordG
make jokes you don't like
D chordD
or paint ducks and retire
F chordF C chordC
YOU CAN BET YOUR BLACK ASS THAT I'M GOING TO

 

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