Livin' Next Door To Alan Tabulatur von Kevin Bloody Wilson

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They came down from Meekathara in a burnt-out blue FJ
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That farted and just shit itself on Jutland Parade
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Right next door to Bondy’s
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When the smoke had cleared a voice said ‘Hey, this place look all right
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We’ll tell the gubbermint it’s a sacred sight
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Dead fuckin’ easy
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G’day Mr Alan Bond, how you going bloke?
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Hey I’m your brand new neighbour, hey mate you got a smoke?
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And I think I’m gonna like it here
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Livin’ next door to Alan

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Twenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogs
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A dead roo on the roof rack and a boot load full of grog
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'And I'm flash as Michael Jackson now I'm
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Livin' next door to Alan'

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'The first thing that we gotta do is get another car
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'Cause the one sittin' out the front won't even fuckin' start
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We'll call that bloke again from the government, He's all right, eh?'
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So they called the bloke in charge of all the government grants
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And the next day in the driveway was a new Mercedes Benz
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'Eh, come 'n' have a look at this one, Edwin, This one's got a wireless! look at this, eh'

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'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' mate?
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You got a real flash car, but my one's flash one, eh
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And I believe that my one's faster than yours, Mr Bond
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'Cause mine's a red one'

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Twenty-four kids, 9 adults and 15 dogs
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All squeezed in the front seat with the wireless turned full on
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Listenin' to Slim Dusty now they're
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Livin' next door to Alan

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So Bondy called Ben Lexcen and said: 'I want another yacht, 
                                                                                                         
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Twice as big and twice as fast as what I already got
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That'll fuck 'em'
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So his neighbours called some welfare mob, not to be outdone
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And got the HMAS Melbourne on some sorta government loan
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Got me knackered -- they just said they wanted to go fishin' for yabbies in the river

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'Good day Mr Alan Bond, how you goin' mate?
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You got a real flash boat, but my one's flash one, eh?
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And I think I'm gonna put him in the 
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River next door to Alan's

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Fifteen dogs, 9 adults, two dozen screaming kids
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With lines strung from the flight deck, tryin' to catch some squid
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Swimmin', fishin', pissin' in the 
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River Next door to Alan

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So Bondy threw a party, The likes you've never seen
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And invited everybody from the Premier to the Queen --
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And the Leyland Brothers
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So his neighbours baked bungarra on a barbie on the lawn
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And invited all their relatives from Meekatharra to come down
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'Hey, Edwin, don't you forget to bring a big flagon of woobla
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There's a party on at my 'ouse!'

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'I don't know why he's leavin', or where he's gonna go
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He says he's got his reasons and I reckon that I know
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He just never got used to
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Livin' next door to Abos'

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'He's jumpin' up and down and he's makin' such a fuss
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At least we don't got fuckin' coons livin' next door to us!
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Now we gotta get used to not
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Livin' next door to Alan
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Now we gotta get used to not
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Livin' next door to Alan