5 Im Lied verwendete Ukulelengriffe: G, Dm, F, C, D
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Transpose chords:
G Dm
When I was six years old my sister Alyson
F C
Asked for a stove for her birthday
G Dm
A miniature one you could actually cook with
F C
And my mom was nice and she bought one
G Dm
Alyson needed a reason to bake something
F C
Barged in my room and she grabbed me
She said:
G Dm
"I made a cake and we're going next door
F C
To sam weinstein's and you're getting married"
G
the cake was burned
Dm
it tasted gross
F
she made me kiss him
C
on the mouth
G
now i am 33
Dm
unmarried happily
F C G
no plans in life and i'm planning to keep it that way
Dm
i do kissing with only one mission
F C
do you like to kiss then you have my permission
G Dm
and i have already spent too much time
F C
doing things i didn't want to
G Dm
so if i just want to make out all the time
F C
you can bet your black ass that i'm going to
G Dm
When I was nine I was kind of a loser
F C
The kids in my class didn't like me
G Dm
Melanie chow was the meanest of all
F C
And my mom made me go to her party
G Dm
Nobody talked to me I sat there quietly
F C
Drawing with crayons on a napkin
G Dm
A picture of melanie skewered with a pitchfork
F C
Her legs getting eaten by lions
G
The cake was good
Dm
I took some home
F
I had a party
C
In my room
G Dm
Now I have friends and I'm not such a loser
F C G
But I go to bars all alone and I sit there
Dm F C
And order red wine and I write and I like being alone around people
G Dm
Yes that's how I like it
G Dm
and i have already spent too much time
F C
doing things i didn't want to
G Dm
So if I wanna sit here and write and drink wine
F C
you can bet your black ass that i'm going to
G Dm
yes i come here often
F C
sure i'll have another one
G Dm
yes i come here often
F C
sure i'll have another one
but i don't have to talk to you
G Dm
When I was 17 I was a blowjob queen
F C
Picking up tips from the masters
G Dm
I was so busy perfecting my art I was clueless to what they were after
F C
Now I'm still a blowjob queen (far more selectively)
G Dm
I don't make love now to make people love me
F C
But I don't mind sharing my gift with the planet
G Dm
We're all gonna die and a blowjob's fantastic
G Dm
When I was 25 I was a rock star
F C
But it didn't pay too well I had to strip on the side
G Dm F
Of the road to get ready for shows and the cars driving by
C
Baby they'd never know
G
What a bargain they'd gotten
Dm
And if I'm forgotten
F C
I'm perfectly happy with all that has happened
G Dm
And I still get laughed at but it doesn't bother me
F C
I'm just so glad to hear laughter around me
G Dm
and i've already spent too much time
F C
doing things i didn't want to
G
so if i want to drink alone
Dm
dressed like a pirate
F
or look like a dyke
C
or wear high heels and lipstick
G
or hide in a convent
Dm
or try to be mayor
F
or marry a writer
C
smoke crack and slash tires
G
make jokes you don't like
D
or paint ducks and retire
F C
YOU CAN BET YOUR BLACK ASS THAT I'M GOING TO
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