Philosopher's Song Tabulatur von Monty Python

D
Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
                    A
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
                              D
Who could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
                   G
Whilhelm Friedrich Hegel
    A
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
                           D
Who was just as sloshed as Schlagel
                A
There's nothin' Nieizsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
            D        B7          E7
Socrates himself was permanently pissed

John Stuart Mill of his own free will
After half a pint o' shanty became particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
`I drink therefore I am'

But Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed